Thursday, July 31, 2008

power lounging with the baby

I took this photo with my new iphone yesterday while I was power lounging on the couch. Our baby wanted to say hello to poppa Jerry so I e-mailed the photo to him so the baby could say hello.

Did I mention that none of my pants fit?
You would think that the baby is building a new condo in there but actually she/he is the size of a grape.

I can't believe I still have to wait 3 more weeks to tell all of my friends about our baby. torture.

Today I'm going to start a new series of pinhole images of my body. I think the focus will be on my breasts and my belly.
Thinking of taking one photo every week of both of these body parts as a way to document the changes. However - because I'm choosing to use the pinhole camera I am going to do longer exposures so I can capture my breathing on film too. I really love taking photos that way. The same way I took the honeymoon photos, and photos on our first trip together in England. ( That is actually when the pinhole long exposures started as Jerry gave me that camera as a birthday gift right before we left on our trip )

Still knitting that blanket but not as often because I'm feeling much better these days so I'm not on the couch as much.

Want to take a quilting class and make a little quilt for the baby. But haven't looked into that yet. Distracted by my birthday party planning.

I am counting the days until I can start exercising again. I feel like just sitting in on a prenatal yoga class so I can see what it will be like. I'm also looking forward to meeting other pregnant women in class.

It's 7:40am and I need to go sit on the porch with Pretty girl. Last night she layed on my belly and tried to help me warm up the baby. It was the cutest thing and felt so good to have that purring ball of fur on my belly. I wonder if our baby enjoyed it too?

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

baby experiences first earthquake!

So I was sitting in the Los Angeles County Courthouse in Downtown Los Angeles. I got there at 7:45 to report for jury duty and was waiting to see if I was going to be selected. A gal I was sitting with in the morning took me down to the cafeteria and bought me breakfast. I have no idea why she wanted to pay for it. But I accepted the gift. She was called for jury duty when we got back and I never saw her again. We were on the 5th floor of a building that has something like 20+ floors. At 11:40am I was called to go to a courtroom for my first jury duty assignment. I put my things in my purse and zipped it up and then the entire building started to jolt and rumble. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. It went on for about 30 seconds and then quieted down to a very very soft rumbling and vibrating that went on for at least 1-2 minutes. We were told to evacuate the building. So we walked down the flights of stairs and out to a large courtyard around the block. My heart was racing. But all of us calmly walked down and out. It reminded me of stories I heard about 911 and getting stuck in dark stairwells. This one was not dark and the building was not harmed, it just brought up my memories of those stories and it scared me that the building might collapse or that it was a tremor before "the big one". So many thoughts went through my head in those 30 seconds. I didn't have my cell phone to call Jerry. That made me incredibly uncomfortable. A gal next to me e-mailed him from her blackberry to let him know I was ok. he e-mailed back that he was ok too. I felt dizzy. I sat with that gal who e-mailed Jerry for me and found out she is a therapist that works with pregnant women as her specialty. I got her card. She told me that she had a premonition about 20 minutes before the earthquake that it was going to happen and that she doesn't even believe in that kind of psychic thing.
The guy who worked on the 5th floor came up to the courtyard where all of the people were from all the surrounding buildings and courthouses and asked if anyone from the 5th floor jury duty waiting area was there. We walked over and he handed us our completion of jury duty slips and told us we were done for the day and will not be selected again for the next year.


I walked to the Disney Hall and down 3 flights to my car underneath the building. That wasn't fun to go underneath it. Again more vivid thoughts of the building collapsing on top of me.

Drove home with relatively no traffic. Pretty girl was asleep on the couch.
I called Jerry. Our cell phones didn't work - but his office line did. It was so relieving to get through to him. That was the WORST part of it. Not having my phone and not being with him.

I sat on the couch for a while, just sitting there, trying to calm down. I called Mom, Amy, Marty. My mom was concerned about how our couch looked. I was concerned that the "big one" was going to happen at any moment. Once I felt better I made myself lunch and then took myself to whole foods and bought myself a wheat free, sugar free chocolate crunch cookie. And I bought one for Jerry too.
I ate it when I got home and then at about 5:30pm I went to bed. Totally exhausted.
Jerry got home around 8:30 but I was totally out.

however......after 8 hours of sleep I woke up. yep 1:30am and wide awake.
It's 5:30 now and I decided that if I'm just going to be up now that I should just get up and do stuff. Pretty girl asked for some holding and hugging, and that is always a treat.

This took up some time and now I'm going to put myself back to bed.

the baby experiences his/her first earthquake!
Yep, he/she is a real native Californian now. Just like her momma.

( I did have a conversation with Amy trying to figure out which state in the USA has nothing big happening ie: no earthquakes, floods, ice storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, etc....the first place I thought of was IDAHO. )

So I'm going to look up Demi Moore and Bruce Willis and see if they have any spare room in their enormous home up there.......

Until then. I am still waiting for
"the big one"

I think we all got educated on the fact that standing in your doorway is NOT where you go in an earthquake. And you don't run outside.

you get underneath the sturdiest piece of furniture in the house and stay there.

ok - now I'm exhausted again and going back to bed.
Glad the little bean is safe and ok!

Monday, July 28, 2008

We saw the baby's heart beating!!

Friday we had an appointment with our doctor and had our first sonogram. We got to see the baby! And he zoomed in so we could actually see the tiny little heart beating! It was INCREDIBLE!!!! I was laughing out loud. I couldn't believe my eyes. jerry swears it did a little dance to say hello. The doctor told us that the baby is perfect in size and shape and doing very well. The baby is all formed and looks the way it is suppose to look at 8.5 weeks. He says that the chance for miscarriage has dropped down to just 2%, and that I can go ahead and start buying things. I am not sure what he means by going to buy things but I think he means - baby stuff. I'm actually not in the mood yet for that, but it's good news!


So this week the baby is 9 weeks, and looks more like a baby then a blob. The baby is nearly an inch long — about the size of a grape — and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. ( thank god ) . The baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that the baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.

I know I'm poised for rapid weight gain. OY.

Last night I had pretty severe nausea, so I know the baby is growing and doing it's thing which I felt was a good sign. Still no trips to the bathroom to throw up - so that's always a blessing! Phew.

My cat's vet suggested a book about vaccine's to me that goes through all the vaccinations for the baby so that I can learn about why they do that vaccine, and the pro's and con's in a way that has no opinion so I can learn about it and make decisions about which ones I feel need to happen. My vet just had her second child and she really appreciated learning about the vaccines. I don't know enough to say anything about it - but I know that vaccines have been under the microscope due to the rise of autism.
When we were born there were about 30 vaccines, and now there are about 90.
Anyhow - I'm going to get that book this week and start educating myself on the issue.

The same author wrote a book about all the birthing methods. Just the facts. No opinions. And that looks good too. Might look for it at the library and check it out.

But today.........power lounging on our new couch!

Friday, July 25, 2008

baby gender predictor?

click on the Chinese Gender Chart below and check out what it says my baby is going to be:

Chinese Gender Chart

Plug in these things:
Age at conception : 39
Month of conception: June

Do you believe?

My friend has a hunch It's a BOY.

Do you have a HUNCH????
do tell

Thursday, July 24, 2008

kidney bean

that is the size of our little one.
A kidney bean.

funny that it has arms, hands, brain, heart, ear buds, eyes, etc etc already on that tiny little thing!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

proper weight gain.....

There is a calculator on that helps you figure out how much weight you should gain based on the weight and height you are. once I put in my measurements this list came up. There's also a chat board there and a lot of pregnant gals are talking about their weight gain. It is so different for everyone. One gal gained 10 pounds the FIRST MONTH! One gal gained 100 pounds in her pregnancy. Since I started out without dairy and grains in my diet - I was destined to gain some weight right away when I added them in. Have I mentioned how good a sharp cheddar cheese, green olive and tomato quesadilla is? Ohhhh, the pleasure. Luckily they make sprouted grain and gluten free tortillas and bread so I digest it better.

Food aversions really are funny - it's a very quick response sometimes like salmon is still out although last night we made it from our pregnancy cookbook and I ate it even though I didn't want to. It ended up being pretty good, even though I felt nauseated while eating it. It was glazed with agave nectar ( sugar substitute), wheat free soy sauce, sesame oil, garlic, and balsamic vinegar. We usually eat it plain so this was a fine treat.

This morning I am heading to whole foods to stock up on more prenatal vitamins, and get a few more items for the fridge. probably fruit and nuts and seeds so I can finally make the granola I read in that same pregnancy cookbook. ( I recommend it for anyone - pregnant or not - the food is really good. we've tried the stirfry, the pasta , and the salmon so far and we have been blown away. Luckily we had gluten free pasta on hand. I NEVER eat pasta so it was a treat. )

Yesterday I had an interview with Julia Dean to see if I could start teaching photography day trip through their huge workshop center. I had to break it to them that I am newly pregnant and cannot commit to anything yet. They have me in the books for spring 2010. Something to look forward to. It was a dream come true to be interviewed by them, and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity. I want to start teaching NOW!!!!! But then, I'm exhausted, nauseated, and forgetful. I don't think I'd make much of a teacher right now.

Wow I'm chatty today - food and photography usually get me going.

Did I mention all the visitors we are having in the next few months?

Jerry's mom is coming out the day after Jerry's birthday and will be in San Diego for a week. We will get to see her on Jerry's days off - ie: weekend.

Brandon and KT are heading down from Portland sometime in September or October.
The house will be flipped upside down with remodeling - should be interesting.

Excited to see them.

ok - I need to go get dressed for my outing to whole foods now. The little kidney bean needs some eggs.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Week 8 - hang on little kidney bean!

Today the baby is about the size of a kidney bean.
Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from the baby's hands and feet. His eyelids almost cover the eyes now, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail " is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways.

Last night was a pretty bad night - not feeling well and couldn't sleep.
This morning Jerry and I took the baby for a walk at the rose bowl. it's so pretty there walking under the shadows and light of the trees that line the path.

Today is a work day for me, but I can already tell that I am going to have to take things slow. I'm exhausted, and still a bit nauseated.

I don't really love eating all the dairy and grains. I'm going to tone it all down a notch. Tonight we are going to make a wheat free/gluten free pasta with kalamata olives,sundried tomatoes, pine nuts, spinach and parmesan cheese. From that pregnancy cookbook.

We tried to make stir fry without the wok yesterday. It was ok. Not my favorite.

Pretty Girl still hasn't authorized the pregnancy yet. She's been sleeping so close to me that her little nose blows air on my face at night. her purring is so loud that it makes me smile. I think she knows when i'm not feeling well. She usually will lay right on top of me and stick her nose in my ear and purr. It certainly distracts me.

This Friday we meet with the doctor again.
Luckily my schedule is getting busy so I'm not just sitting here counting the minutes.

The baby blanket is coming along - I do about 4-5 rows per day. Sometimes more.
I think it will be done within the first trimester.

Then i'll be off doing pre-natal yoga and getting my arms back in shape with some light lifting. Not real into getting out of shape. I don't think it's a good idea for me or for the baby.

Still considering becoming a fitness trainer / nutritionist. But that would mean more school and we all know what that means.....$$

I sure do like dreaming about all the different ways I can work and be a mom.
ie: photographer
art therapist
fitness trainer/ nutritionist
baby clothes designer

Friday, July 18, 2008

feel-good foods for pregnancy

I bought this book yesterday. I love the recipes inside and Can't wait to go to whole foods to pick up some of the ingredients. Even the cover - with the berries and milk makes my mouth water.

Still craving granola, fruit and soy milk. I may head this morning to get some.

By the way - the book I showed you all yesterday was a BIG HIT! JERRY LOVED IT! He loves Dr. Suess and when he saw it he stopped everything and read it to the little tomato - which we are calling a little blueberry this week.

YAY. I'm so glad he loves the book. It was the CUTEST thing EVER to see him get so into reading it to the baby.

Today mom is coming over to take a look at the house and give us some tips on the remodel. Looking forward to it.

Last night I told Andrew and Kirsten about the pregnancy - they screamed with happiness.

I told my friend Chris McLean as well who told me that God and the baby picked Jerry and I and that I am just here to help the little person be the best they can be. some how the way he said it I really really felt it. I cannot project what this baby will need - all I know is what I needed as a child and if I just give the baby what I needed I won't be listening to what the baby needs. I'll be projecting.
It's not a mini me. or a mini Jerry.

anyhow - I'm only 7 weeks along and I don't have to figure it all out today!

All I know is that the more people I tell the better I feel - the more secretive I am the more depressed I feel. Although I don't want the extended family to know - I sure enjoy sharing this news and celebrating it with my friends - who I know would be there if anything did go wrong - but at this point - nothing is wrong so I prefer to be in the moment and be excited.

ok - I have to run to santa monica this morning to get a photo framed for an upcoming show I'm in. Then lunch with mom and dinner with mom and Jerry.

Last night I felt a lot of stuff happening in the belly. Can't really describe it but it felt a little like cramping...I think the baby was hopping up and down after Jerry read the book!


Thursday, July 17, 2008

hi Joanne!!!!

Joanne called today. It made me cry. I love my friend Joanne and she lives on the other side of the U.S. of A.
Hi Joanne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I bought a book called
"oh, baby, the places you'll go!" A book to be read in Utero.
from the works of Dr. Seuss.

It's a tiny little bite sized book that fits in a pocket.
I bought it for Jerry actually. So he can start reading to his little baby.
He doesn't know about this yet and he doesn't really read the blog unless I bring him over to the computer and show it to him, so you are all finding out before he is that he has a little book waiting for him when he gets home tonight. I wonder what he will think. Of course I think it's CUTE! But will he?? I have a feeling he will love it once he starts to read it outloud. It made me almost cry when I read it at Vroman's bookstore today.

Jerry finished the shed this morning. Pretty girl still hasn't gone inside to inspect and make sure she approves so we are all waiting to hear her report. But it is great to get that done because it means that we can start the process of moving our things around and getting the office made into a baby room, and the garage made into an
office/ guest bedroom with a full bathroom, sliding glass doors, air conditioning, yes - a real re-done garage...I'll show you all photos of our friends converted garage later so you can see our inspiration.

My mom ( hi mom! ) is coming over tomorrow to look at the house and garage and help us with the planning. I'm excited to get this rolling!!!!! ( thanks mom! )

Today I weigh in at 120.4
I ate 2 eggs, 2 pieces of wheat free bread with earth balance vegan spread for breakfast

lunch I went to Chipotle and had a bowl of rice, beans, chicken, lettuce, guacamole, cheese, and tomatos. It was good but not as tasty as I imagined it in my head.

CRAVING granola with fruit and soy milk. ( drooling just thinking about it )
Had some at the "M" cafe a few days ago and it was incredible.

Thinking about my 40th birthday party - Saturday August 23rd - if all goes well - we are going to announce the pregnancy at the party, and have a table set up with onsies and fabric paint for anyone who wants to paint one. We are also thinking of having a backdrop, and digital camera with cable release set up so people can take photos of themselves, and we will have it catered with mexican food( cheap mexican food nothing fancy ), and cake of course! our backyard is going to start being torn up by the remodel so it will be an obstacle course - but I think it's better then trying to have a party at a restaurant - I never get to talk to anyone that way, or at the beach - too much sand, or - well - I don't know where else to have a party! So the backyard sounds good to me!

what else - Bought a book about food for pregnancy which is SO SO GOOD. I cannot wait to try some of the recipes.

I actually WORKED yesterday. It was fun but it wiped me out.
Today I am working at home on the images I took - and it is very slow going.
Long story - but I HATE post production. Even on small jobs. I bet it's bad for the baby to feel so much disgust inside about work, so I might as well take it easy and not work then! ( HAHA! )wouldn't want the baby to feel stressed out!

tee heee.

ok - I am going to make a smoothie with plain yogurt, frozen mango and blueberries, and 1/4 tsp of turmeric. ( wish I had some granola!!!!!!!!!! )

have fun out there with tennis lessons, and being with just one child today Joanne.
I miss you.

And love amy, mom, dad, marty, brandon, and of course my baby and Jerry too.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Monday, July 14, 2008

Week 7

Holy cow!
Look at our little baby in there!

How the baby is growing:
The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs - although they look more like paddles at this point. Technically the baby is still considered an embryo and still has that tail which is an extension of the tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks ( phew ) but that is the only thing getting smaller. The baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long. About the size of a blueberry.

Eyelid folds are partially covering the eyes now, which already have some color, as well as the tip of the nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of the baby's brain are growing, and the liver is churning out red blood cells until the bone marrow forms and takes over this role. There is an appendix and pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid digestion. A loop in the baby's growing intestines is bulging into the umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from the baby's body.

Oh god, my baby is going to want to go shopping at the mall soon!

( I can hear my mom laughing at the above comment! )

hi mom!

( ok now my dad is chuckling )

hi dadio!

today's weigh in is 120.4
My neighbor yesterday told me she can tell I'm gaining weight.
I wanted to punch her. What kind of thing is that to say? To anyone - ever?
I can see it all over my body! It feels like 10 pounds not just 3 pounds!

New food aversion:

Found out last night when I put 2 bags into the pot for dinner. Could barely handle holding the bags in my hands. I made it but didn't eat it.

Jerry made pork that was marinated in lemon, cumin, garlic and oregano ( my special marinade )it was DELICIOUS.

It's funny how one minute I can really be enjoying eating something - and then in a flash I am feeling nauseated and don't want to eat it ever again in my entire life.

Ok - hope you enjoyed this weeks update!

I'm off to go feed the kid, and head toward the beach.

Jerry woke up at 7am and continued working on the new shed he started yesterday!
I'm going to schedule a massage for him next weekend ( shhh don't tell ). He must be sore. We are getting ready to do a bunch of remodeling on the house. We are both really excited about it. Mom is coming over Friday to take a look, and hear our ideas and help us with the planning.

p.s. my life as I know it is over and I am not sure how to handle that.
I'm sure karma is going to get me for all the years I was a tyrant toward my parents
( see hand waving at parents right now with big sheepish grin on my face! )

Good thing I am also charming, talented, funny, smart, independent, tenacious, polite ( usually ), and have been sober longer then most people on the planet. I'm a non smoker ( ok an ex smoker ) don't drink caffeine, don't drink, don't do drugs, I don't steal, I don't lie (?) ok I guess I should stop before I'm ahead. I guess I'm trying to put in a good word for myself before the baby is born and starts teaching me lessons.

Oy... the lessons!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

weekend update

Today Jerry and I went out for Mexican food. I had enchiladas, rice, beans.
Feels like the little baby doesn't mind it - but we are both exhausted now. ( the baby and me )

Jerry and I were going to go to an engagement party tonight - but Jerry went without me so I could power lounge. I was completely wiped out after just one errand and lunch out.

That is about how it's been lately. I do one thing and then take myself home and put myself to bed. I'm pretty tired of watching tv. I'm going to start renting movies and watching the entire box set of "sex in the city", and anything else I find that catches my eye.

Time is going by so slowly it is incredible. 6 more weeks of the first trimester. I am looking very forward to telling everyone the news.

This week I've been waking up at about 4am and staying wide awake for about 3 hours - then going back to sleep but when I get up - it's about 10:30am and I feel like I was hit by a bus. It's a bit strange.
Right now I feel some cramping. At this point I know that it's normal. The baby is suppose to start waving his/her little hands around. Maybe he/she is saying
" more chips and salsa please mama! "

look - she/he already has such good manners!

p.s. one of my friends thinks it is a BOY.
I thought that too - that was my very first thought when I found out I was pregnant.

Do any of you have a "feeling" about it?

They say that girls make the mom have more morning sickness - and I don't have a very bad case of it....another sign that it's a boy??

We already have a name if it's a girl - so we've been trying to figure out boy names in case my intuition is right. But - just so you know - my intuition ain't so good. I didn't think I could really get pregnant.....

p.s. we aren't going to tell you the baby names we pick out. Too many opinions out there. This one will be private.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

week 6 - ?

we think we are at week 6. but the doctor said i could be 8 weeks along.

My friend brooke told me about
and to sign up for the daily e-mails. They send you a picture each week of the size of what your baby is at that time in it's development.
Right now if I am at 6 weeks the baby is the size of a lentil bean and it has a tail. yes a tail.
It also has 2 black dots for eyes, a beating heart, buds for ears, tiny hands shaped like paddles with webbing, the baby is forming vocal cords and a tongue right now.

No wonder I feel so ill. There is a lot going on in there. yesterday was a hard day. I was on the couch for most of it and did not feel good at all. I would get more graphic but I'll keep that private to spare you the details.

Looking at starting prenatal yoga classes but I may just need to pick up a DVD for home until I feel like I can leave the house without getting ill.

I'm looking into hypnobirthing. It was explained to me by a toltec friend of mine who did it and she says it is a LOT like dreaming. Sounds good to me.

What doesn't sound good to me right now is FOOD. I am totally not interested. It makes me ill thinking about it. I do eat 3 meals per day - and I'm eating my usual turkey burger - plain without the bun, and a salad with flax oil and braggs, added some cottage cheese, some wheat free gluten free toast, eggs and grapefruit for breakfast as usual. But the entire time I am eating I feel really ill. Nauseated and not hungry at all. The thought of breakfast this morning is totally unappealing.

However - I want those little webbed paddles to develop into hands, and the rest of those little starter organs to develop into strong structures to make a healthy baby so I eat it and deal.

Jerry is busy cleaning the kitchen this morning while I type. He is running the house while I run the baby making factory. I think he was made to be a papa.

Today I weigh in at 119.4
My breasts are VERY VERY Sore and I wear an athletic bra thing all day and night. It hurts to roll over in bed or to lay flat on my back because the "ladies" are so sore.
My back hurts a little bit. I get very strong cramping in my belly, followed by runs to the bathroom, diarrea, and nausea. I don't want to eat anything. I don't want to leave the house yet because I'm pretty quesy, dizzy and lightheaded. Exhausted just from getting up from the couch to walk across the room. No energy. No interest in doing much of anything.

Jerry feels good, excited, happy, thrilled, helpful, generous, easy going, nurturing, kind, interested in learning about the baby, interested in making the house baby ready, working on the new fence, the new shed, cleaning the kitchen, making food, getting me water or food so I don't have to get up, etc... He is 100% available, and into it.
Thank god.

I'm so lucky. and so is our baby!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Monday July 7th

that is a little tomato seedling.

Jerry has taken a few tummy photos but I haven't seen them yet. stay tuned for those.

This weekend was July 4th weekend and we basically hung out at home and rested and ate and watched a lot of movies and comedy on tv. We had Sean Halley and Sean Whitler and Christina and Gretchen over for a BBQ and to watch the fireworks from the backyard. It was fun to have them over. Jerry broke the pregnancy news to them. It was fun to share it with them. Jerry was glowing when he talked about it.

Now we are deciding to pretend we are Angolina Jolie and Brad Pitt and neither confirm nor deny the pregnancy to others outside the inner circle who might find out or ask. I think we should take it further and move to France to have our baby there? Sounds fair.

I've cancelled all travel and photography workshops for the rest of the year. I feel really good about that because I can barely go grocery shopping without feeling exhausted.

our new shed arrived this morning and Jerry jumped up and down with glee. We can now get our garage in order, and start making the second bedroom into a space for the baby room and move all the office stuff into the shed.

Of course this is a little early but I think Jerry wants to build stuff on the outside while I build stuff on the inside.

I have a doctors appointment in 2 weeks. I'm counting the days.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

double checking

This photo was taken a few minutes after the first one. I had to double check. I really couldn't believe my eyes!

Today is Thursday July 3rd. And the little tomato is still hanging on!

This morning I woke up from a dream that Jerry and I were in hawaii on Maui, driving to the aquarium and talking about something - something about it becoming dark, trying to decide what to do.

I woke up and saw my beautiful husband there next to me - and told him about my dream. We agreed that we needed to get back to hawaii. We are thinking about going around our 1 year anniversary in october. I will be about 5 months pregnant. We will get to show our baby the place we call our second home. Napili Bay - where the sea turtles play.

I started to look up midwives and doulas today online and all the different types of births there are:

At home births
water births
natural births
births in the hospital
births with a doula
births with a midwife
birth with an OB/GYN
Birth with pain medication
Birth without medication
Birth as a Rite of Passage
Birth at a Birthing Center
Birth with C-Section

I started to read the book "Birthing from Within" that Amy gave me. And I'm listening to the music from the "birthing from within" website as I read. It is soothing, grounding, and comforting.

I've enjoyed what I am reading so far. It shifts me from feeling like there is so much out there to learn - to going more within myself and listening.

it's still hard to know who to tell and who not to, but tomorrow we are having the groomsmen from our wedding over with their significant others - and Jerry is going to tell them as we eat steak and guacamole and other 4th of july food and watch fireworks.

today I'm meeting Christina at the farmers market in south pasadena to pick up goodies for the bbq, and it might be hard for me to keep my mouth shut! But I don't want to ruin it for Jerry.

Pregnancy symptoms today?
No morning sickness (YAY! )
breasts are SORE!
a dark line has appeared from my belly button down.
lots of light cramps, heaviness, pressure, fluttering.

Weigh in at 117.6 which isn't the correct I started my day with 2 more pieces of ezeikel bread with almond butter and earth balance, 3 eggs, and a grapefruit. I'm going to start eating rice, and going to look into gluten free breads and needs it!

Love you little tomato!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Hang On Little Tomato!!!!

YES! This is true. I found out a week ago today. On Tuesday June 24th.
This photo is the evidence.

Then of course I had to pee on another test to double check.

Then I peed in a cup at the doctors office the next day to triple check

Then I went to see an OB/GYN after that last test came back positive and it was time to move forward.

The OB/GYN says my due date is March 02, 2009
EXACTLY 7 years from the exact date Jerry and I met and Andrews wedding.

We got goosebumps when he said it.

It's been a week and We've told some people but not others. Sometimes I think keeping it a secret from my 12 step friends is crazy making. And other times I am grateful it is a secret because I don't always want to talk with people who don't have kids or who are not pregnant about being pregnant. It TOTALLY reminds me of being engaged and planning the wedding. It's that bubble kind of feeling. Only my body is changing right in front of my eyes, and I'm not feeling like I need to lose weight to fit into my dress! These days are filled with feeling light headed, dizzy, pressure in my belly, cramping, and just tired. Not like a tired I can really explain because I haven't done anything to be tired. I just don't feel like doing much and when I do I feel pretty tired during and wish I hadn't gone out.

This morning was the first really bad morning sickness. I ate different food yesterday. Added ezeikiel bread, almond butter, and made what we are calling the Sean Whitler Smoothie. all delicious. And necessary ( I think ) for the babies growth and health. But maybe it was too much?

I just felt like I had a case of really bad sea sickness. I felt wobbly, dizzy, and nauseated. Not fun.

I feel better now - about 4 hours later.

Jerry and I are really excited about this new adventure. We are preparing to prepare the house, making plans to change the office into the baby room, and the first step is to clean out the garage, and move the stuff from the office into the I see a raise of hands for people that want to help us??

This morning we were talking about making a stencil of a design we make and painting the room with it. Could be reminiscent of our wedding invitation......stay tuned there may be a little crowned boy and girl on the ceiling or something....wait that might freak out the baby......

Anyhow - this will be our new place to post about all the changes going on in my belly, and in our lives as we count down the days to our new addition.
It's mainly a way for us to keep track of all the tiny little things that rush by so that we can have evidence of each step, and the process it took to get there - hopefully we can print these pages out - and have it bound at kinkos or something and give it to our child when they are old enough to care - which might be like
age 39 - based on my own experiences.....
Plus it's driving me nuts to keep a secret so this way I feel like I'm getting it down on "paper" and off my chest.
Speaking of chests...I need a new bra already. one for day and one for night. My boobs are KILLING ME!!!!

I'm also going to start taking a photo of the belly either - every day - or every week on the same day - haven't decided yet. Of course I try to make it this big elaborate photo essay project thing ( should I use the 4x5 camera? Should I use the digital? Should they be black and white? Should these be small square images that I make into a flip book? oh my god JUST TAKE THE PICTURE ALREADY! )
So I will start that today. July 2 2008.

stats: 118.2 lbs weigh in today. ( one pound weight gain since Friday! )
belly looks the same to Jerry but I can see it and it feels harder to me too.
my heart is beating hard today.

Toda I love flourless bread - made into toast - and smothered with almond butter, and earth balance.