almost...week 11

Hey look this is suppose to be a cute baby tracker thing but I think they look like creepy aliens don't you?

Good morning. It's 6:45am.. This is my usual wake up time - some where between 4:30 and 6am. I've been up since about 4:30ish. Today I noticed something quite odd for someone like me. I actually felt OPTIMISTIC. more on that later...


last night we went to some friends for a BBQ and told them we are expecting our first baby. This couple has told us before that they are not interested in having kids because they already take care of so many people. She is a therapist and they are both very active in 12 step programs and sponsor a lot of people. they already feel like they have kids in a way. I knew that they weren't going to jump up and down for us, but it was still so strange to have the gal say " oh, that's great" with such a pained look on her face and it sounded as though she were squeaking those words out of a mouth that could care less. It was so interesting. The other friends we told yesterday were much more happy for us in a very genuine way even though they don't have kids. It has been so interesting to see how people feel about it. Once we told them I could feel a gigantic separation as wide as the pacific ocean grow between us. I sat there with this group of people - all around my age with out any kids and felt Jerry and I were on a different planet.
One couple that we had just met seemed more excited for us then our actual friends!

I started to think about the baby room and if we need to paint it. Right now it's a mustard type of color. Not that bright though. Like a dull but rich
kind of like this hat only a bit darker.
Can't tell if that is really going to be a cheerful color for the baby or not. But we want to add some things to the walls that I've seen around.
But the first thing - is going to be CLEANING THE ROOM OUT!
I've already started the harrowing process and plan on spending today in there.

P.S. I crave lettuce and veggies again, and have a lot more energy the past few days. YAY FOR SALAD!

P.P.S. I can't wait to see how cute Jerry is going to be as a dad. Can't you already tell he is going to be so into it? he already is. It is so CUTE. I'm so lucky!!!!!!

P.P.P.S. I'm glad we told those friends of ours yesterday instead of waiting until my birthday party. I'm realizing that learning how people are going to react isn't really how I want to spend my party. So it's nice to get it out there to the few left that are coming to the party that don't know. That way we can talk about the pregnancy or not and it won't be as uncomfortable for me to be around people who could care less.

I could just see Jerry and I standing up in front of everyone to announce it at the party and people going " oh....yay..." in a very unpleasant or not too interested way.
I think I'd rather talk about it with the people who are excited and talk about other things with the people who aren't. That way the party isn't baby focused. We can save that for baby focused parties and people!

It's 7:03 am
Sunday August 10th.

9 days until the end of the first trimester.

8 days until my 21 years

13 days until the party

18 days until I actually turn 40.


ok - my other child is needing attention and some time on the porch rolling on the cement.