week TWELVE

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Our baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if I prod my abdomen, the baby will squirm in response, although I won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in our baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, our baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

**

Still getting over the shock of having some spotting. Feeling a little depressed about the cramping which is stronger then it has ever been and feels exactly like I'm going to start my period. I don't like that. The doctor told me that it's because the uterus is growing and pushing things around. I want to be past the discomfort and spotting so that I can enjoy the second trimester that everyone told me was going to be better.
I have been counting the days up to to this point and now find that it's worse then it was a week ago and that I feel less confident.
I hate that.
I'm glad we got to have an ultrasound when I was in the ER and we got to see the heartbeating and the baby waved at us ( ok we waved at the baby! )
And Saturday we got to hear the heartbeat - it's going 150 beats per minute. Which is in perfect range. The baby is the perfect size right now and all is on track - just uncomfortable with the cramping which makes me worry. worry never helps. ever.

I'm totally bummed that I cannot exercise yet. i've been wanting to take pre-natal yoga not just for the exercise but to meet other mom's to be that live near me. I am thinking I might just start to sit in on a class and not participate and just meditate. That might really be nice and a good routine to get into for myself. Tomorrow there is a class really close by that I might just check out. I feel strange going and telling them I just need to sit there - but I bet you other pregnant women can't do all the poses. what the heck - I guess she can tell me no if that isn't appropriate.

I have been looking forward to this week for WEEKS now. So it's a bit of a bummer that it isn't what I thought it was going to be. I assumed that from what other people have told me - that I would have more energy, and feel so much better.
But it's the opposite.

We did start to tell people. I called both of my Grandmas and they were so shocked and excited. It was fun to tell them.
E-mailed a bunch of friends today to tell them the news as well.

Still keeping this blog private though so please don't pass on the blog address to relatives or friends.

Last night I made Spaghetti with red sauce ( from a jar )
and a salad with home made ranch dressing.

I NEVER eat pasta so that was a delight!
Trader joes has wheat free gluten free pasta now!

And I was craving real ranch dressing.
Jerry tells me he has never had it before.
I was shocked.
He is addicted now.

Jerry has been taste testing a different flavor of cupcake every night so we can pick the ones for the party this weekend.
So far I think he likes the Brownie Bomb cupcake the best. It has big chunks of brownie in it. The brownie has walnuts in it.
I actually tasted the frosting and a tiny piece of cupcake - probably the first taste of sugar I've had in YEARS. And I must say it was a good choice.
those cupcakes are INCREDIBLE.

I had to leave the room so he could finish it without tackling him for the rest of it.
It was THAT good.

we are getting a big wire tiered thing to pu the cupcakes in for the party.
It holds about 23 cupcakes and we have about 45. So the rest will get put out on the table! That is going to be some dessert table.
We are getting milk too.
what could be better then cupcakes and milk on your 40th birthday?
i can't think of anything.
and I decided to actually EAT a cupcake.
Yes - you heard me.
I'm HAVING ONE.

I regret not eating a slice of my wedding cake.

I may feel it in my bones the next day - but I don't have anything to do but nap anyhow.

It may trigger a need for sugar but at least I know how to stop that if it happens.
It sucks going through it so hopefully I will have the cupcake and be ok.

I had kona coffee icecream with oreo cookies smashed in it when we were on Maui and I seemed to be ok. accept for my feet and hands swelling and getting irritable and feeling like I got punched in the face. but other then that I was totally fine!

somehow thinking about the cupcakes make me feel better!

Today is also my 21 years of sobriety and I have nothing planned but to pamper myself, and go to dinner with Jerry.
I'm taking it easy.

Lots to be grateful for.

My family, my friends, my husband, our little baby, my kitty, our house and quiet street, the hammock, the tree out front, the pomagrantate tree, the eucaliptus tree, electricity and running water!, creative inspiration, good food, trader joes and whole foods, gluten free stuff, CUPCAKES, orange juice, having a car, having everything I need and things I don't need but like to have, lucky brand jeans!, even though I can't wear them right now, sleeping bras, loose pants, cozy blankets and pillows for power lounging on the nice new couch, cable, tivo, sex and the city videos, e-mail, internet, did I mention cupcakes?, cameras, birds, birds singing, hummingbird nests, BUNNIES!, wind blowing in the trees, quiet, not working a dumb job, not wearing pantyhose, not wearing pumps, not wearing a suit, not driving in traffic at rush hour, not using an alarm clock ever, sleeping in, ( i know that is over soon ), living in LA where we have great weather most of the year, power lounging, bravo tv, olympics, music, memories, hard wood floors, paper towels, the dishwasher that mimi gave us, the washer and dryer, bathtub and bubbles.

ok that reminds me

I need to find some glitter stars.
Maybe today I will run to Michael's and see if they have any in the glitter section.
?

Got to go. It's 7:45am and I am going to run and have a glorious Monday.
Hope you do too.

xoxoxo