someone is starting to crawl

his own version of crawling
this video was taken today

The Enough House

napping with his turtle ( we got that turtle in Maui on our Babymoon when I was 5 months pregnant. )


this was actually taken back in August - but I wanted to post it even though it's dark because both of my kids are laying near me and I LOVE THAT! Max loves to push up against us when he sleeps. Pretty girl - usually sleeps in the living room these days so this moment is rare.

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I just went over to a blog I love to read.
It's Finnian's Journey


She posted 2 links and asked us to read them.
I only read one and was moved to tears.

Here is the link:
http://bloom-parentingkidswithdisabilities.blogspot.com/2009/05/enough-house_26.html

I urge you to read this one.

I think it's very true that we - in general - as parents - want our children to excel. Be great - be the BEST they can be.
But when does it become too much pushing - in order to achieve something that we are projecting onto them. Our insecurities about ourselves somehow get puffed up if your child does better than yours? False pride is what that is called.
When can we just be proud of our child - just for being alive - for being themselves and for being who they are? When is that enough?

how many stickers have you seen on the back bumpers of cars that reads " my son is the top honor student at XYZ school "
um......so?
I'd like to know if that child is truly happy?
Feels good in his own skin?
is grounded and feels good about what he says, thinks, does.
feels empowered by who is is not by how he performs?

As a mom of a child with Down syndrome - I am thrust into this system with Max that has to do with therapies to help our child reach developmental milestones.

This post at the link above - makes me think about acceptance.
Loving what is.
Providing Max opportunities to live his best life ever -
but not pushing my own timeline on to him - or service providers timelines - or "typical kids" timelines. Just Max's timeline.

yesterday I was feeding Max as he sat in the ergo carrier - on me - because he seems to spit up less - choke less and there fore be less uncomfortable. I was looking at him as his eyes were closed sucking on his bottle, feeling his tummy breathe against mine and thought this is a perfect moment. It made me cry. I brushed his newly grown hair over his head with my hand - I love it feels. How I feel MORE love for him I have no idea - but I watch him and am moved to tears. Just being with him is an amazing event for me.
I do hope he can sit up, walk, talk and be understood, listen and hear you and the birds and the ocean etc, and comprehend what he needs to in order to have a fulfilling and fun and joyous life.

It's been hard at times to hear mom's of "typical" kids talk about what things are concerning them. mainly because I compare it to my concerns for Max and they seem to be focused on things that really don't matter much. ( and there is the judgement about it right there ) I tend to get angry about it inside. How can they be complaining about something so frivolous when I don't know if my child will be able to eat sufficiently, speak and be understood, hear, learn, read, walk, be included in school, be treated as an equal by classmates because he looks and acts differently, be able to understand what things might be dangerous for him to do or not do. Will he be accepted? Will he need heart surgery? Are his eyes crossing? Will the muscle tone in his tummy ever get strong enough so that he stops spitting up the entire bottle and choking and gasping for air? And I know Max is LUCKY. He hasn't had surgery. He hasn't had a feeding tube. He isn't in a wheelchair, he has great muscle tone, etc etc.... in so many ways I am blessed to be able to say that Max has not had those issues - and a lot of the mom's I know HAVE gone through a lot more with their kids and I feel humbled by what they have been through, and what their children have been through. AMAZING.

I don't always get upset by what other mom's say - but I truly don't want to have a reaction at all and be supportive no matter what - because if I am angry at them - it is separating us. If I want to accept Max as he is - I also need to accept other mom's concerns for their own children as being perfectly ok for them. It's none of my business right? Let it go Catherine!
I cannot make other mom's and dad's and people in general realize what they are saying.

I think the "enough house" has to deal with so much more than just accepting Max as he is - and myself as I am.

I've heard other mom's with children who have Ds tell me pretty crazy stories about other parents looking down on them for trying to have their kid in their class and how it disrupts the class away from their child. egads!

really?

take a deep breath - and move on.
Right now - I am dealing with being Max's mom.
He is 7 months old
and is taking a nap with his turtle, his cow, and his glow worm.
And I am grateful that this moment is perfect.

I live in the "enough house"

7 months old today - happy birthday baby!

Happy Birthday Max!
7 months old today.
I can't believe it.
Somehow 7 months feels like you are so OLD already!
I love watching you change in front of my eyes.

Lately you are sitting more and more
reaching out to grab everything you can
napping in your crib or pack and play without us being with you or having you in a baby carrier
Talking a lot.
" ahhhmooooobaaaaahhhh"
" laaa"
"gah"
"mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmah"
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmoooooooooo"
"meh"

you are laughing and when I laugh you laugh and then I laugh and you laugh. and on and on and on. Hilarious.

and starting to copy us
when we blow you a kiss you try to do that too. SO DANG CUTE !
if we talk to you and wait a second you will talk with us too

You've noticed the iphone, the cat, my parents dog, the tv ( egads turn that thing off ), the fridge. And you watch us leave the room and come back in.

you love to hold on to your feet when you are laying on your back.
You soothe yourself by sucking your thumb.

And most recently - you stopped spitting up.
And I mean recent - like stopped yesterday!
We had to put you on zantac and feed you in the baby carier facing us and sitting upright. I stand up while carrying you in the carrier and I feed you that way now. You seem to be ok with it and THAT is how the spitting up ended.
Zantac and a different feeding position.

Toys you love right now:
the cow stuft animal I think is your favorite.
The piano
the seahorse that glows and plays lullabye music.
rattles
anything you can put in your mouth including my pink covered iphone

you still love it when I sing to you - you laugh and smile with glee.
you love to be held - and you love to snuggle
you love being rocked, bounced, and jiggled.

you are rolling over onto your tummy as usual - but now you are getting up onto your knees and rocking back and forth and them propelling yourself forward, backward, and turning yourself around.

I still have to change your diaper with you on your tummy - you really don't like being on your back much.
you still love a bath and you suck on a washcloth that has been soaked in warm water.

Right now we are in San Diego at your grandparents house because a fire started in Los Angeles and I wanted to get you away from the smoke. We've been here since last Sunday. It's been nice to take a mini vacation at this amazingly beautiful house and be far away from the smoke.

Your papa has been driving back and forth between here and work and home because he misses seeing you.
I've been sending him daily photos of you on the iphone which he LOVES seeing.

I'm so glad we had a place to go and that you got a lot of time with your grandparents. They had a lot of fun with you. You amaze them with all the talking you do and and how much you are moving around. They also love that you are learning to blowing kisses.

Last weekend you got to meet my uncle Bix and aunt christine and cousin Joe, cousin Andy, his girlfriend Brienne, aunt Lois and uncle Mark! It was a whirlwind weekend. I'm SO glad they were in town and got to meet you.
On my birthday we gathered at our house for a taco feast from el arco iris. Our favorite Mexican restaurant on York Blvd.
you basically slept in the Ergo while we all pigged out on tacos.


Aunt Lois and Uncle Mark, my parents, and the three of us at Houston's Restaurant in Santa Monica.


Aunt Lois and Max at our house - before the taco's invaded our home!




Cousin Andy and his fabulous gal Brienne at the Rose cafe in Venice beach.

What a great weekend it was. And it was a birthday treat for me to see everyone and introduce them to Max.

Hope to see more of them - sooner than later. I love them! I wish they lived closer.

xoxoxox
*c