Oh man censorship is getting me down.
don't want to sound too negative and don't want to sound too happy happy joy joy fake girl either.
And then I think - wait - WHO CARES? who is the blog for anyway???
so - this week:
I've vomited 5 times so far...
4 at night while trying to get to sleep
and then once this morning.
Sciatic pain is so bad that walking has become hazardous to my health...both emotionally and physically.
I'm afraid of food.....ie: vomiting.
I'm propped up on 4-5 pillows at night and that seems to help me a little - sometimes - but not always.
Then I HAVE to get off of those pillows before I go bonkers so then I sleep on 3. Which is my preference.
And I still sleep on both the left and right sides even though they say to just sleep on the left side. I would explode if i couldn't adjust myself and turn.
I have more energy now then I have the entire pregnancy. I'm seeing more humans, driving more places, running more errands.
And then - I remember - that My sciatic pain is still there. It's like I'm 2 people.
one is high energy - that one lives in my head.
the other is in pain and that one lives in my body.
I'm a split personality ! h.e.l.p.!
last night we had friends over and I was reading something and after 2 sentences I had to give it to Jerry to finish because I was completely winded like I had just walked briskly up a hill. Out of breath, energy, and heart was pounding. I might have been sweating a little as well! Hopefully they weren't sitting all that close to me and didn't notice the stink?
I am eating salads again and with enjoyment and vigor!
yesterday I had a Chinese Cabbage Salad at heirloom in South Pasadena and I couldn't get enough of it.
YAY FOR VEGGIES!!!!!!!
My ankles have started to swell at night - for the past 2 nights.
My friend KT has had swelling almost the entire pregnancy. The doctor's assistants always ask about swelling and I feel so above that - so terminally unique - so powerful against the typical....and then - they swelled.
and I - was just like everyone else.
The little dude is still moving a lot in there - he is moving now. Not sure what he is doing. I can't imagine it's comfy in there at this point. He is running out of room. My belly button hasn't popped out yet and I would really like it too. what's the deal with that?
And - I am STILL in a discussion with myself about whether to color my hair or not.
yes - this is the drama that consumes my thoughts daily.
My hair is gray on top down to my ears. I cannot wear my hair down. It's two toned.
Shall I color it again - or let it go and just go gray already???
I can't quite imagine being the girl with gray when I still think I'm 27 years old.
I have an appointment next Thursday - will I keep it??????
that is the question.
Tomorrow - dr. appointment.
will have more stats then.